


I Seem to Have Loved You in Numberless Forms, Numberless Times

by DontCallMeShirley



Series: There Are None So Blind as Those Who Will Not See [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Feelings Realization, Fix-It, Fluff and Smut, Force Bond (Star Wars), M/M, Mutual Pining, One-Sided Attraction, Romance, Soul Bond, Soulmates, The Force Ships It, obikin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-11-08
Packaged: 2020-10-26 21:21:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20748959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DontCallMeShirley/pseuds/DontCallMeShirley
Summary: Obi-Wan realizes his feelings for Anakin are not what he thought.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "Endless Love" by Rabindranath Tagore

When their ship was hit Obi-Wan was not too worried. Anakin was an excellent pilot, and had no problem maneuvering even a half-functioning vessel. But then they were targeted by buzz droids, and the next thing he knew they were plummeting through the planet’s atmosphere and toward what appeared to be an ocean.

“Hold on!” Anakin yelled as they slammed into the water.

Obi-Wan may have blacked out for a moment; when he opened his eyes, the ship was listing, and water was slowly seeping in, covering his boots. He released the safety harness straps in a hurry and turned to Anakin, who was slumped over the console.

“Anakin? Anakin!” He tried shaking him, but got no response. He was unfastening Anakin’s harness even as he tried talking to him, pulling him out of the seat and away from the water. He hoisted the young man over his shoulder, and was reaching for the emergency supplies when the ship groaned and began sinking quickly, submerging them unexpectedly. 

Obi-Wan took a deep breath before he went under, grabbed the supplies, and swam for the escape hatch. It was stuck--the mechanism had been chewed through by one of the droids--but he pushed with the Force, worry for Anakin supplementing his strength, and they were out. He swam to the surface as quickly as he could, and floated on his back, supporting the other man under his arms. Anakin had taken in water, but there wasn’t much he could do about that at the moment. He looked around and saw they were mercifully close to shore, so he shifted his hold on Anakin to his left arm, and used his right to pull them toward the beach. 

Logically he knew they were getting closer, but with every frustratingly slow stroke it felt like they were moving backwards, destined to never reach the shore.

*****

Finally they made it into the sandy cove, and Obi-Wan dragged Anakin out, laid him flat, and spent the next good while pumping what felt like liters of water out of him. When he was sure Anakin’s lungs were clear, he checked him for injuries and found a linear skull fracture. 

He breathed a sigh of relief that it wasn’t more serious, then he sat in the lotus position, hands hovering over Anakin’s head, and breathed deep a few times to center himself. He reached out to the Force and drew it in, directing it to Anakin’s cranium carefully, knitting the bone together and soothing the swelling of his brain from the hard knock he’d taken.

He’d become a reasonably good healer over the course of the war; one good thing to come out of the bloodshed and madness, he supposed. 

And speaking of which...he fished in his belt for his comlink but its saltwater bath had left it inoperable. Great. He wondered if the distress beacon had activated in the ship? There was nothing to do but wait. Either the Republic forces would win and the clones would come for them, or the opposite would happen. There was not much he could do about it either way until Anakin woke up; he had no sense of immediate danger, and he hesitated to move someone with a head injury more than was absolutely necessary. 

Obi-Wan flopped onto his back next to Anakin and looked up at the cloudless sky. He immediately closed his eyes and looked away from the cloudless sky, the after-image dancing in his brain. The sun was far stronger than he’d expected. He needed to get them into the shade. And out of the sand, he knew Anakin’s feelings about sand.

No rest for the weary.

He looked around for suitable shelter, and saw a grove of pine trees, their needles carpeting the space below them in what would make a serviceable bed. He grabbed the supply bag and his cloak and went to check it out. Some areas were marked with gnarled roots, but there was a section that was relatively flat, and the needles were thick, just as he’d hoped. He draped his dripping, sandy cloak over a sturdy branch, then went back for Anakin, lifting him gently and laying him down under the pines. He didn’t even stir, but at least he was breathing. Birds flew upward and chittered at them from higher branches, warning each other of danger.

Obi-Wan then wrestled him out of the rest of his wet clothes, leaving him in his underwear, and draped them on nearby branches as well, to dry in the warm sun. He stripped himself down to his skivvies, and hung up his own clothes; and by then he was quite hungry, so he opened up the pack to see what he could find. Ration bars, of course, but beggars couldn’t be choosers. He tore into one and chewed on it thoughtfully, leaning against the tree trunk, one leg pressed against Anakin’s side in reassurance. 

Qui-Gon would approve of this place Obi-Wan thought, as he closed his eyes and listened to the birdsong, now full of news of food. Intermingling with it was the soft susurration of the sea and the rustling of the branches in a gentle breeze; and the air was redolent with the salt of the sea, and the sharp scent of pine, and the heady bouquet of the jasminum vines climbing through the nearby trees. And closer at hand was the rhythmic rise and fall of Anakin’s chest as he slept. The calm of the space worked it’s magic on him, and he fell into a half-dozing, half-meditative state. 

When he opened his eyes again they drifted to where Anakin lay. His face was deceptively peaceful--angelic even. Anakin never looked like that when he was awake. Half the time he looked like he was going to vibrate right out of his skin, his moods mercurial and tempestuous, his eyes vibrant and so alive...

Obi-Wan reached out a hand tentatively, hovering over Anakin’s face for a moment, then permitted himself to run his fingers through his former padawan’s unruly curls, made tighter by the humidity. He untangled them and brushed dried salt and sand out as best he could. The rest would have to wait for an actual shower. Then he gently stroked Anakin’s cheek with the back of his fingers, tracing the contours of the beloved face until he suddenly pulled back as though he’d been burned. 

Oh. Oh no.

Beloved...Anakin _ was _ beloved, as a brother, as a friend...but in that soft, dreamlike state he had the unfortunate and unwelcome realization that he loved Anakin in ways beyond that. In ways that no master should love their former student. In ways that would be wholly unwanted by Anakin. Anakin, who he had raised from childhood. Anakin, who had eyes only for Senator Amidala.

He shied back, forgetting the tree was right there, and winced as he scraped his bare back against the rough bark. He realized he was still holding his hand outstretched toward the other man. He rubbed it on the pine needles, then clasped his hands together in his lap. They were shaking. His mind was reeling, spinning uselessly. He fought for control. 

_ There is no emotion, there is peace. _

Now, he told himself, now that he realized the extent of his folly, he could face it, and release it, and overcome it. 

Anakin began to stir, and Obi-Wan resisted the temptation to leave. Instead he remained, wreathed in sand and salt and what dignity he could muster.

“Master?” 

Obi-Wan closed his eyes tightly, and released a breath. He was a Jedi. He would always be a Jedi. 

“Yes, Anakin. I’m right here.”

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh, so, this is sadder than I usually like my stories to be. (Plenty of sad stories in canon. And the news.) This is just how I figured it was for them--both of them wanting more and not able to admit even to themselves that they wanted more. At least here Obi-Wan is forced to face the depth of his feelings, even if he immediately assumes they're unreciprocated. Anyway, I am considering adding to this story to make it happier, so let me know if that's something you'd like to see.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It turns out Obi-Wan isn't alone in his feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't do it, I couldn't leave Obi-Wan sad. There's too much of that already in canon! Also, always have to help Anakin. This is now a three-part fix-it, complete with meddling from the Force.

Anakin’s head was splitting.

He kept his eyes closed and allowed his senses to unfurl until he ran into a familiar presence. Obi-Wan. He called to him, and when Obi-Wan answered, he felt himself relax. Everything would be fine as long as Obi-Wan was with him. He drifted back to sleep almost immediately.

When he woke again, his headache was down to a dull roar and he was able to open his eyes. He blinked a few times, surprised to find himself under a tree. He reached up and touched the long needles, running his hands over them and watching as they sprung back. He sniffed deeply as their sharp, sweet scent filled the air. 

Then he turned his head to the side, and saw that he was at the edge of a pine and hardwood forest fronting a small, curved bay, with a rocky promontory at one end, and a continuation of the forest at the other. The water was a clear turquoise near the shore, darkening to a deep blue farther out. And in the middle of the water stood Obi-Wan, wearing what appeared to be underwear and nothing else, limned by the golden light of a late afternoon sun. Anakin closed his eyes and swallowed thickly.

He remembered the dog fight. He remembered the buzz droids. And...oh yeah, he remembered heading for the ocean as the best option for an unscheduled landing in that damaged ship. Too bad R2 wasn’t with them, he may have been able to help prevent the crash.

He opened his eyes and looked back to Obi-Wan, who was staring down at the sea in fierce concentration. Suddenly he thrust his hands into the water. When he straightened up and turned toward Anakin, he was holding a large, thrashing fish.

“Oh hullo, Anakin. Glad to see you’re awake. I found us some dinner.”

*****

Obi-Wan had been a busy lad. He’d made a stone fire ring out on the sand, and started a small fire; laid in a stash of fresh water he’d purified with iodine tablets that were de rigueur in any emergency kit; and stacked piles of fruit and extra logs and kindling nearby. He’d even moved over some largish rocks to use as seats near the fire, which Anakin knew was for his own benefit, so he wouldn’t have to sit on the sand. 

Even now his hands remained busy, wrapping his freshly caught fish in some large leaves that he’d soaked in water. 

“How long was I unconscious?” Anakin asked, a little more petulantly than he’d intended. He tenderly massaged his head and watched Obi-Wan finish his wrapping and begin poking at the fire with a stick. 

“Not long,” Obi-Wan replied smoothly. “You had a skull fracture. You needed to rest.” When he was satisfied with his patch of embers he nestled in the fish to steam. Then he peeled a fruit, deep red and glistening with juice, and tossed it to Anakin. 

Anakin sniffed it then took a bite. Some sort of citrus. He took another bite. It was delicious. He gobbled it up and held out his hand for another, which Obi-Wan handed him obligingly.

Anakin stood up slowly, and when his head didn’t protest, he walked to where their clothes were strewn over tree branches to dry in the sun. They were still a bit damp and even worse, they were crunchy from salt and sand.

“Are you cold Anakin? We can dry our clothes by the fire,” Obi-Wan asked, but Anakin shook his head. 

“Not really. It’s nice and warm here, isn’t it. I was just wondering about them.” He tried, and failed, to keep his eyes on the fire and off of Obi-Wan’s broad shoulders and well defined musculature. 

The first time he’d ever masturbated was after watching Obi-Wan walk out of the fresher nude, towel drying his hair as he headed back to his room to get dressed. It was far from the last time either. It had confused him for awhile—what about his feelings for Padme? And did he like men?—until he realized that he wasn’t attracted to genders, or races, or anything like that. He was attracted to people. Two people. Two very specific people. And anyway, it didn’t matter, and never would matter, what his feelings for Obi-Wan were; Obi-Wan would never look at him that way, especially not when he was a padawan. Even now, he probably still thought of him as his padawan. It was one of the reasons he had glommed onto Padme when they reconnected, he needed the emotional and physical connection that she provided. 

“On second thought, it may get cold once the sun goes down. I’ll bring them over,” he said, holding the robes over his cock, which had started to harden. 

Obi-Wan had finished cooking the fish and was handing him his share on one of the large leaves when sat back down. “Bon appetit,” he said with a quick bow and a quirk of his well-shaped lips. 

Anakin smiled back. His romantic feelings aside, Obi-Wan was solace, as essential to his well-being as air. He couldn't imagine life without him, and didn't like to try. They ate their meal in companionable silence, watching the setting sun turn the sky a vivid spectrum of colors and listening to the waves roll gently in and out.

*****

Anakin was surprised at how calm he was feeling, as he sat beside Obi-Wan at the edge of the fire. Why wasn’t he panicking and doing whatever it took to get off this planet and back into the fray? He had checked the comms himself to see if anything could be done to get them working again, but there was nothing readily apparent. He needed to take them apart, but instead he set them aside to work on again once the sun came up. 

It almost felt like they were meant to be there, though he wasn’t sure why that would be. Perhaps the Force wanted them to have a break; or perhaps it wanted them to have time together before something bad happened. No, he wouldn’t let himself think like that. Such darkness had no power over him right now. He breathed in. He breathed out.

“Where are we anyway?” asked Anakin. “Is this one of Nisi’s moons?” 

“Yes. Ormos, would be my guess, based on the climate and the breathable atmosphere. The Nisi can’t breath oxygen, and they are a reclusive people. I suppose that’s why I’ve only sensed animal life here, and no sentients.” Obi-Wan, pointed into the northwest quadrant of the sky, which was spangled with stars and dominated by a large, striped tan planet. “If you look over there you can see Nisi and two of the other moons.”

“Ah, yes.” Anakin reached over to grab his cloak. He was starting to get chilly. Obi-Wan was already wrapped up in his robe, to Anakin’s chagrin and relief. The harmony of their environment may have tempered his anxiety, but apparently it had little effect on his libido. He spoke quickly to change the direction of his thoughts.

“I guess you only owe me seven rescues now, Obi-Wan.”

“Seven? How do you figure? And that business on Cato Neimoidia still doesn’t count!”

Anakin chuckled. “Even not counting that, you owe me,” he said.

“I suppose so,” Obi-Wan replied placidly. 

The beauty of the place was intoxicating, even in the dark. The night was rich with sound, as croaking frogs in a nearby tidepool joined the chorus of nocturnal insects in the woods. The tree branches rustled overhead, moved by a breeze that slid across their skin and ruffled their hair. The very concept of time seemed unimportant; Anakin would have been glad in that instant to stay there forever. Was this what Obi-Wan meant by allowing yourself to be still? He couldn’t remember experiencing anything like it before, even in the Room of a Thousand Fountains.

Obi-Wan felt it too. He reached over and squeezed Anakin’s hand lightly. When he spoke again, after a long while, his tone was pensive. “What do you dream of doing after the war? I wouldn’t mind coming to a place like this and just meditating for a year.”

Anakin’s heart froze. Obi-Wan couldn’t have known what a loaded question that was. His enchanted bubble burst, just like that, the simple question bringing his disquiet to the fore once more. Somehow his recently achieved sense of peace made it worse, a cruel counterpoint to the jagged uncertainties of his life, and the heartbreak of a decision that he had to make and could not make. His breathing quickened and his palms began to sweat.

“Anakin? Are you alright?” Obi-Wan asked him worriedly.

Anakin cleared his throat. “Sure. Yes.” He knew he wasn’t fooling Obi-Wan, who was watching him carefully and who knew him far too well. “After the war you say? Uh...missions with the Jedi...with Ahsoka…And you...” He wiped his palms on his cloak.

The truth of the matter was that he had the same reaction when Padme asked him that very thing. She wanted to know about their future. He couldn’t think that far ahead. He wanted her and he wanted to be a Jedi. To be with Obi-Wan. He didn’t want to choose. And he didn’t want to talk about it. The Force grew uneasy.

“I’m going for a walk!” Anakin said, jumping up before he could start hyperventilating.

“Go for a walk where?” asked Obi-Wan, concerned. “I’ll go too.”

“No! I gotta...I gotta…” and he was about to run into the woods when Obi-Wan stuck out a foot and tripped him, then jumped up and tackled him into the sand.

He sat on Anakin’s midsection, holding down his shoulders. “Anakin, what has gotten into you? What is wrong? Talk to me!” he pleaded.

The Force was howling, pushing to get their attention. Anakin tried to ignore it as he struggled, but Obi-Wan seemed to be listening. He wasn’t going to let him go this time. Anakin bucked wildly.

“Get off me!” he yelled. “Get off!” He fought like a madman, but Obi-Wan had taught him, and knew all his tricks. And apparently he hadn’t shared everything _he_ knew, because he targeted a pressure point that Anakin hadn’t even known about, and he found he couldn’t move.

“What are you doing? Let me go!” He stared up at Obi Wan angrily. He’d make him pay for this! Why wasn’t Obi-Wan letting him go? Obi-Wan always let him go. He never made him talk… The Force whirled around and through them fiercely.

Obi-Wan suddenly looked contrite and relaxed his hold, and then Anakin flipped them over, pinning Obi-Wan to the ground with his body, their faces inches apart. He’d show him! But Anakin belatedly realized that this might be a bad idea. Their robes had come off in the scuffle, and he was laying directly on top of Obi-Wan, chest against chest, legs against legs, groin against groin... And Obi-Wan wasn’t moving, only breathing hard and staring. Then he reached up his hands to cup Anakin’s face, and Anakin was losing himself in Obi-Wan’s eyes, his tension bleeding into a different type of tension...

“Obi-Wan,” he whispered, as he felt himself getting hard. Words failed him. The tempest in his heart and in the Force quieted. Obi-Wan flipped them again so he was on top, his hair flopping down over his forehead, and he leaned in closer and kissed Anakin tentatively. Anakin’s eyelids fluttered shut. Was this really happening? 

Obi-Wan was so gentle, his lips soft, his beard a contrasting sensation of roughness. One hand was behind Anakin’s neck, the other against his cheek. Anakin leaned up into the kisses, opened his mouth, let their tongues meet. He felt his anxiety melting away, replaced by heat, when Obi Wan pulled back.

“Anakin,” he said, low and husky, visibly restraining himself. Anakin had lost all semblance of his own control; he would follow Obi-Wan’s lead, do whatever Obi-Wan wanted. But then Obi-Wan sat up, and drew Anakin up beside him, and wrapped his arms around him. Burying Anakin’s face in his shoulder and holding him tight, Obi-Wan said, “We need to talk.” 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan wrestles with his conscience and his desire, while the Force makes its will known.

Well that escalated quickly.

The Force crackled between them, intense and demanding. Obi-Wan took a deep breath, and then another.

Obi-Wan still wasn’t sure why he’d tackled Anakin, except on some primal level he knew he couldn’t let him leave. And as he pinned Anakin, skin against skin, mind against mind, through the Force he saw the cracks in Anakin’s very foundations, so much deeper and more troubling than he had ever realized. Insecurity, sadness, anger, fear, love, hope--all were being twisted, stretched past their limit into unrecognizable shapes. Anakin was past the point of needing a friend or a mentor. No, he needed guardrails, before he plunged off the edge of the cliff.

But how?

As he held Anakin and stroked his back and his hair, he found himself distracted by the smoothness of his skin and the silkiness of his hair and the warmth of his scent. He felt the other man’s attraction and desire. No, not just that. His love. So it wasn’t one sided, as he had thought. 

Could their mutual attraction help Anakin, give him the feeling of safety and acceptance he craved? It felt like such a natural progression--but Obi Wan rejected that idea. How could that be right? Not only did it fly in the face of the Code, but what if it hurt him, make him more unbalanced? His love for Padme was strong but unstable; would theirs be any different? Was he really so selfish, looking for an excuse to indulge his newly discovered feelings at Anakin’s expense? 

Anakin stirred in his arms. “Obi-Wan? I can hear your gears turning from here.”

Obi-Wan laughed at that, and tried to release his worry to the Force. There was nothing they couldn’t overcome together. His breath ruffled Anakin’s curls. 

“Oh Anakin,” he said fondly. Then he sighed. Honesty was going to have to be the best policy, even if he disliked parading his personal feelings. “I’m not quite sure what to do here, what you need. What was all that about back there?”

He felt Anakin trembling, sensed his anxiety sparking again, so he lifted Anakin’s chin up and kissed him gently on the lips. His breathing calmed once more, Obi-Wan taking note of the way he responded to touch. “Don’t be afraid, Anakin, I’ll stand by you, no matter what. I love you, you know. I always have.” 

Anakin’s joy and disbelief curled through the bond; in the starlight Obi-Wan saw tears glistening in the corners of his eyes. He reached up a finger to brush them away and smiled sadly, his hands resting on the other man’s shoulders. “I’m sorry if I never made that clear. And, well, I’ve recently realized I have fallen in love with you too. I’m afraid it has thrown me for a bit of a loop. I feel like a molester, creeping after my padawan. Former padawan,” he corrected quickly.

But Anakin shook his head sharply. “No! Don’t say that!” He closed his eyes, and put his hands behind Obi-Wan’s head, bringing their foreheads together. “I fell in love with you years ago, but I didn’t think… I never expected… You never gave me any reason to expect anything more. Especially when I was your padawan.” Then he drew back and stared at Obi-Wan intently, adding, “Loving you is like loving the best parts of myself. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

That wasn’t an entirely healthy notion, but it was in keeping with Anakin’s behavior, and what he had seen through the Force. Still, Obi-Wan would be lying to himself if he said that Anakin’s words didn’t excite him on some level. He rested his cheek against Anakin’s and resumed running his hands through the other man’s hair and lightly down his back. Anakin shuddered. When he found himself trailing kisses along Anakin’s neck and nuzzling his ear, he pulled back in surprise.

Oh Force. Had he lost his mind? He wanted to focus on how to help Anakin, but he kept getting sidetracked by his desire. Even as a hormonal teenager he hadn’t been this bad. He needed to get himself a little breathing room, everything was coming at him just a little too quickly…

He forced his mind back to Anakin’s earlier reaction. He needed to think it through, so he might know how best to help him. He had panicked when Obi-Wan asked what he wanted to do after the war. There was a choice he feared, one that he didn’t know how to make... 

Aha. Padme. And the Jedi. And him. 

“I’ll always be here for you Anakin,” he said, kissing his hair and his temple. “You will never lose me.” Anakin was melting into him. The Force shimmered approvingly through his senses. Anakin needed to feel safe. Loved. Wanted.

The impulse to kiss Anakin again was strong, but he still wasn’t sure that was the right thing to do. The whole idea was all so new. What he needed--what they both needed--was a nice, relaxing meditation. “It’s been a long, odd day,” Obi-Wan said, stilling his hands. “Would you like to meditate with me?”

He could sense Anakin’s inner struggle; meditation was not nice and relaxing for him. “We’ll do it together?” Anakin asked, still clinging to him. 

“Yes. Will you trust me?” he asked. Anakin nodded. But he already knew that Anakin would. He was so acquiescent at the moment. So passive. That was disturbing in it’s own right. But also, somehow, alluring…

Okay. Okay. They were supposed to meditate, and he was about to lay Anakin back down in the sand instead. He drew back and took Anakin’s hands in his, and stood up. “Let’s get our cloaks and go closer to the fire.”

They settled back down, hands rejoined, and breathed together as they listened to the pop and hiss of the burning logs and bubbling resin. 

*****

Their meditation was illuminating.

Obi/Wan had intended to seek out his best path forward; could he abandon the Code, the Order, everything he’d dedicated his life to? But it turned out that was the wrong question. Anakin was what he had dedicated his life to, their partnership the will of the Force. 

The Code was just trappings. And he had long been willing to leave the Order for Anakin.

Anakin came first for him, and he was facing something he simply couldn’t handle alone. Beneath his loyalty, bravery, determination, passion--everything that made him such a wonderful friend and Jedi--was the abyss of terror and anger and darkness that he had seen earlier, an abyss so great that it could take not just him down, but the whole galaxy with him.

He couldn’t let the darkness win. He  _ wouldn’t _ let the darkness win. And he supposed  _ that _ was the real question--would he do what it took to fight the darkness. His earlier impression that he needed to make Anakin feel safe and loved reasserted itself. 

The one would lead to the other, the Force whispered. Obi-Wan heard it, and yet...

Why was he having such a hard time believing that it was that simple? He wrestled with himself, with his sense of duty and rightness and responsibility. He was frozen with indecision. Did the Force want them together as The Team, or did it want them romantically entangled? What about Padme? He knew he was overthinking everything, but he couldn’t seem to stop.

Anakin sighed and nestled his head against Obi-Wan’s shoulder. Obi-Wan held him tight, an embrace fraught with expectation and desire and uncertainty. 

“I think we need to sleep,” he finally said. “We’ll talk again in the morning.” 

“Okay,” Anakin agreed, but his hope and his disappointment wafted through the bond--or perhaps it was the Force itself that was disappointed. Obi-Wan chose to ignore it, for now. Tomorrow, he told himself.

So they extinguished the fire and returned to the bed under the pines, where they laid down one cloak, and pulled the other on top of them. He spooned Anakin, kissed him lightly on the back of the head, and focused on their surroundings to clear his mind for sleep.

*****

His dreams were soothing at first but became steadily more erotic, of being on Anakin and in Anakin... he awoke with a gasp, and found himself face to face with the other man, lips a breath apart, legs entwined, cocks rubbing against each other. He could sense that Anakin was also just waking up.

Kark it all. He wanted Anakin. Anakin wanted him. They were consenting adults. And apparently the Force wanted this too. 

He could take a hint. When it was applied with a sledgehammer.

And then he stopped thinking and simply acted. He kissed Anakin with an urgency that surprised him. He reached down between them and tugged on Anakin’s underwear to get him to remove it, and then he quickly pulled his own off. He gently fondled Anakin’s cock, his balls, his inner thighs—and encouraged by the other man’s whimpers and moans, he worked his other hand back to Anakin’s hole. Anakin gasped then.

“Yes, please, yes. Please. I need you inside of me, please,” he whispered. Obi-Wan had had his fair share of sexual encounters, but Anakin’s breathy plea almost sent him over the edge right then and there. He had to breathe through it, then he set to work opening Anakin up. He used the Force to pull the first aid kit to him, so he could use the bacta as lube.

He hesitated for a moment. “Anakin have you ever been with a man?”

“No. You’re--just you. But I’ve watched some things…” And through the bond he was bombarded with images of men in a variety of positions, overlaid with the understanding that Anakin had watched these, imagining that it was him and Obi-Wan…

Obi-Wan groaned and positioned Anakin so he could enter him now, he needed him now, he needed him… The two of them found their rhythm quickly, and with it the glorious, searing heat of two minds and bodies joining each other as they were destined to. When they came, they came one right after the other; where there is Kenobi, you’ll find Skywalker not far behind...

All conscious thought was wiped from their minds, nothing left but feelings and sensations. They lay together, clasped in each other’s arms, and felt as though they were floating, their bodies insubstantial and somehow unimportant. And then they realized something was happening in their bond. Something strong. Something powerful. 

“Obi-Wan?” Anakin asked wonderingly. 

“I think...” Obi-Wan said hoarsely, and cleared his throat. “I think we’ve pair bonded.”

They’d always been close, their bond stronger than most, but this was something else entirely, something long abandoned by the Order. Pair bonds--sometimes called soul bonds--were powerful, and dangerous if not controlled.

Were they up to the challenge? The Force seemed to think so. 

“We’ll have to leave the Order,” he said. Or thought. It was unclear, their minds now linked so that thoughts and feelings flowed freely between them. Anakin’s relief at having the decisions taken from him was palpable, even through his blissful haze.

They slept.

*****

They understood through the Force that they would be left alone for now, and they welcomed the extra time. They spent it swimming, resting, lovemaking. And meditating. Through meditation they sorted out their jumbled minds and established new boundaries. Through meditation they learned and relearned each other. 

Obi-Wan understood now that the Force had brought them here, connected them, to save them all. In joining, they were given the missing pieces to the puzzle. 

He tasted the insidious words of Palpatine scattered through Anakin’s soul, the death by a thousand cuts. The insecurities that had led Anakin to listen in the first place.

Through Obi-Wan’s eyes, for the first time, Anakin was able to see the harm. And for the first time, through Anakin’s heart, Obi-Wan was able to feel the damage.

From now on they were as one, and would fight as one. A last mission as Jedi, to save the galaxy and themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well then! The Force decided to give them a soul bond so they could save the galaxy, so there you go. Anakin is a bad decision maker, so the Force entrusted decision making to Obi-Wan. 
> 
> Obi-Wan was afraid he was taking advantage of Anakin, and Anakin and the Force had to convince him he wasn’t.
> 
> Don't worry about Padme, they'll work things out with her.

**Author's Note:**

> Uh, so, this is sadder than I usually like my stories to be. (Plenty of sad stories in canon. And the news.) This is just how I figured it was for them--both of them wanting more and not able to admit even to themselves that they wanted more. At least here Obi-Wan is forced to face the depth of his feelings, even if he immediately assumes they're unreciprocated. Anyway, I am considering adding to this story to make it happier, so let me know if that's something you'd like to see.


End file.
